7 miles in 57:22.
Not a fun run today. I was feeling tired to begin with, so I started off a little slower than usual. I started to speed up some after I got past the massive hill that finishes shortly before the 2 mile mark of the run, but then I began to feel a very urgent need to void. Not. Good. At. All. I slowed down just past the three mile mark to try and avoid soiling myself and I started looking for a bathroom, but I could not find anything.
The need to void became more urgent. I slowed even more, and started to hobble. I almost felt like I was limping at times. I considered walking until I found a bathroom, but I did not want to prolong the misery. I set a goal to make it to the high school where I hoped to find a porta potty by the baseball fields.
Just before the 4 mile mark (still .25-.5 mile from the baseball fields) I decided that I could not wait any longer and I climbed up some rocks to try and hide behind some trees. I was still visible from the street, but I was at least out of direct view from drivers, unless they were looking directly towards me. I rushed to empty my bowels before I was spotted, but in my rush neglected to get situated correctly, and I urinated all over my shorts. Oh well, at least it wasn't poop.
I climb back down the rocks with random plant parts stuck all over my leg hair and shoes and began running again. I found out that there were no visible bathrooms at the baseball fields. I stopped to extract the plant parts from my leg hair (not painful, but annoying).
I continued running very slowly as by now any motivation on my part to run faster than 8:00 pace was completely gone. I stopped again just past 5 miles when I discovered the worlds stinkiest porta potty by the hospital (I could smell it from the street 20 ft away) and I stopped to void once more.
After sitting in the porta potty for what seemed like an eternity (it smelled, but at least it had tp) I started running once more. I get past the 6 mile mark, and I begin having stomach cramping once more as my body was adjusting to the lack of material inside it.
I slowly trudge home, and walk my stinky soiled self into the house. I extracate myself from my urine soaked clothes and I take a shower. I decide to write in excessive detail about my annoying bowels on the blog because... why not? Life is more tolerable when one is willing to poke fun at oneself, so I might as well embarass myself publicly (plus I bet that most people on the blog have had/will have a similar experience at some point).